Slideshow

Be happy. Make happy

IT consultant

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW 7 Series advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Cartier sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?'

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?' The yuppie parks his car, whips out his HP notebook computer, connects it to his Nokia N95 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page
on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .... Within seconds, he receives an
email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-Tech Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'
'That's right ! Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.. Then Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?' The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You're an IT Consultant', says Bud. --------
'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'
'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy.
'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. . . . . . .
. . . .'


''Now give me back my dog'

sms - Good Day

It is a
“Simple”
“Mind touching”
“Interactive”
“Long lasting”
“Effect which Wins the hearts....
Yes,Its your “SWEET SMILE”
So Keep smiling always, good morning!

missing someone

Push down if you miss me...
that is sweet of you ......
Very sweet indeed ....
You can stop now .....
You really miss me,
.... me too

Good Day

Smile a while and while you smile,
smile another smile and soon
there will be miles and miles of smile
just because you smiled,
I wish your day is full of SMILE.

Thank you for..

Thank you for touching my life in ways you may never know. My riches do not lie in material wealth, but in having friend like you. :)

About Life

Life does not provide Warranties & Guarantees.
It only provides Possibilities & Opportunities,
Don't miss them,

Make BEST of it.

Pappu and Papa

Dad to Pappu: When I beat u how do u control your anger.
Pappu: I start cleaning toilet.
Dad: how does that satisfy you?
Pappu: I clean with ur tooth brush.

frienship like sugercan

My Relationship With U Is Like Sugarcane.
Break It,
Crush It,
Squeeze It,
Even Beat & Grind it,
But U Will Always Get Only Sweetness.

Who is HUSBAND

A Man Who Surrenders When He's WRONG, Is HONEST.
A Man Who Surrenders When He's NOT SURE, Is WISE.
A Man Who Surrenders When He's RIGHT, Is A HUSBAND

sms - good day

Cup of Hellos,
Plate of crispy wishes
Spoon of sweet smiles &
Slice of great success
Hope this breakfast makes your day lovely

special bond

Friendship doesn't occurs with special people,
people becomes special after becoming frnds,

just wanted to let u know that u r very special to me

facts- about our body

- Strongest muscle in our body is tongue
-  It's impossible to sneeze with eye's open

Facts - about animals

- Elephants are the only animals that can not jump
- All polar bear are left handed
- Crocodile can not stick out their tongue  
- Butterflies taste with their feet
- Ducks quack has no echo, and no body knows why ?
- Starfish have no brains
- A Cockroach can live 9 day's without it's head ! It only dies due to hunger
- Mosquito have teeth .

Memory capacity

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:?'Patrick Henry, 1775'he said.

'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F___ the Indians,'

'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?' Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,1997'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!' And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'.

Wonderful one minute

One smart Software engineer and his Project Manager were traveling towards Pune in a train.
Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.
With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our Software engineer & that girl.

After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.
Suddenly, everybody heard a Kiss sound followed by a loud slapping sound.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy."

That girl thought that," I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".
PM thought that," I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

Finally, the Software engineer thought?

"This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes...because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM."

sms -> Better be Hanuman

A Man before marriage is - Superman.
After Marriage - Gentleman.
5 years later - Watchman.
10 Years later -  Spider man - trapped in his own net.
that’s why its better to be a Hanuman

About worries

A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband,
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !!
.. What do u say?

Hanumanji- Systematic Working

A story told by an IIM professor regarding the side effects of systematic working:

After completion of Lanka War Hanumanji was enjoying LTA with his friends. He got an email on his laptop from Accounts requesting him to clear his dues before 31st March - dues related to his tour for bring Sanjivani Booti for Laxmanji. He ignored the first mail.

But after 3 - 4 reminders in two days time & receiving a call on CUG Mobile from Accounts Dept., he had to fly to Ayodhya canceling his leave.

He submitted:- TA, DA Bill, Bills of Sushen Vaidya, Hospital Charges incurred for Bharatji when he met with an accident during his travel, Cost of Sanjeevani Booti for Laxmanji, Transport charges

(1) Where is your tour sanction report ? Asked the HR & ADMIN Dept. Hanumanji got it done by requesting to concerned officials 2 or 3 times.

(2) Hanumanji claimed T.A. bill for air travel - but he was given only second class sleeper charges. And all other expenses on medical,Sanjeevani Booti, Fee of Sushen Vaidya were not reimbursed.

When he asked for the reasons, he was told that
(a) As per his designation, he is entitled for IInd class sleeper only.
(b) He can not get claim for other things as he does not have bills.

Then Hanuman approached Shri Rama and explained to him about the deduction on his tour expense report. Then Ramji ordered the related official to pay for Air travel & other charges as claimed by Hanumanji.

The officer came with the rule book & told Shri Ramji "These rules are created by the grand father of Dasharathji, If you want to overrule your forefathers I don't have any problem." Ramji became speechless.

So he thought for another way to compensate Hanuman. He called Hanumanji & gave him the claimed amount in cash, But how can Hanumanji take cash money from Ramji ?

Hanumanji told " How can I take money from you for treating Laxmanji? Laxmanji is equally reverend to me as you are. "

In his heart of hearts Hanumanji thought why he listened to accounts fellow, cut short his LTA, completed all the formalities & put Shriram in such an awkward position where he has to offer money to me. Hanumanji continued his work with the same attachment as he used to after this incidence also. Hanuman was almost a god, but for us mortals, learnt a different lesson & that was


MORAL OF THE STORY :
"NOT to do anything without proper sanctions FROM HR & IMMEDIATE BOSS : Whatever may be the urgency or importance of the job"
At the most Laxmanji will die - nothing more will happen.

Keep Smiling

      Love never fades, it only changes its shades. . .
(¨`•.•´¨) Always
  `•.¸(¨`•.•´¨) Keep
 (¨`•.•´¨).•´ Smiling!
   `•.¸.•´ 

Experience counts

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to lose, if
You tell me the time?

Old Man: Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time.
Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

Old Man: See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may
be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
Young Man: Quite possible.


Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again. This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?
Young Man: Possible

Old Man: Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you & you will admire my daughter.
Young Man: Smiles. 

Old Man: Nowonwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You willoffer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.
Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man: Oh Yes! And smiles

Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch.

Boss Kidnapped

Boss Kidnapped---- What 2 Do????

Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....

Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"

They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.

We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."

One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"About 1 Litre"

Friendship means:

Friendship means:
To love without limitations,
To give without expectation,
To help without hesitation,
& to remember without communication,
Only SMS will do.

Humming Birds..

Morning Breeze,
Morning coolness,
Rising sun,
Humming Birds,
Melting Dew
Along with “A Little Heart” wishing
U a very Glorious MORNING.

A lovely day

A cup of hot hello’s,
A plate of crispy wishes,
A spoon of sweet smiles n
A slice of gr8 success,
Hope this breakfast will make ur day lovly.
Gud Mrng

A LOVLY MSG FOR

A LOVLY MSG FOR A LOVLY READER,

FRM LOVLY SENDER 4 A LOVLY REASON,

AT A LOVLY TIME FRM A LOVLY MIND IN A LOVLY MOOD,

IN A LOVLY STYLE 2 WISH U A LOVLY MRNG.

Diamond is forever……

Gold, Silver, Platinum, Copper, Radium,
All are valuable bt
They have no comparison with u.
Bcoz “Diamond is forever……"

Like needles of a clock

Any relationship in life should be like needles of a clock……..
No matter of one is faster r slower………………..
All it matter is, to be connected………………..!!!!!!!!!

It costs nothing ……

Habit of smiling can make your life happy
It costs nothing ……
U loose nothing bt d
Ppl who likes it ……..
Gets everything……
So alwys keep smiling…:-)

No tooth brush

No tooth brush
No Jogging
No tea
No Newspaper
No Nahana
No. Agarbatti
No Breakfast

No….No…..No

First of all
wish you
A VERY VERY SWEET GUD MORNING

A oneway road

LIFE is a oneway road ,
where you can see back
but
you can’t go back so don’t miss any thing,
enjoy every second of life !!!!!!!

If u love someone

If u love someone,
“show it”
Its better than “telling it”

If you hate someone” tell it”
Its better than “showing it”

Tooth powder

Once upon a time rajnikant used tooth powder to get strong teeth-
Today dat powder is known as AMBUJA CEMENT!!!

Hop our ship nvr $ink..

Wh’s FRNDSHIP?
Itz a ship load wid “LUV” “CARE” & “SHARE” crossing d sea of heart hvng no wheels of
“SORRY” & “thx”
Hop our ship nvr $ink..

At a dance party

At a dance party,
Pappu: will u dance with me?
Girl: I don't dance with child.
Pappu: Sorry! I don't know that you are pregnant.

Chocolaty & Crunchy

Chocolaty & Crunchy outside..........
Creamy & Whitish inside...........
Guess what it is..........
?
?
?
?
COCKROACH...!!
Kyun aa gaya na muh mein paani.

Give me a title

Give me a title:
1) Thief of hearts
2) Source of smile
3) Fun bomb
4) Sensitive
5) Inner beauty
6) Romantic idiot
7) Mr/Ms. Attitude
8) Beautiful soul
9) Fire Brand
10) Softly Doll
11) Saying eyes
12) cutie pie
13) pearl eyes
14) moon face

4wrd 2 al ur frnz n knw wich title suits u bst.

love list

क्लास में मैडम ने कहा सब अपनी अपनी लवर के नाम पेपर में लिखो...
२ मिनट बाद लड़की बोली मैडम कम्पलीट....
६ मिनट बाद लड़का बोला सप्प्लिमेंट्री....|

santa and bluetooth

आदमी: संता आपका एक दांत ब्लू क्यों है?
संता: यार मैंने इंक लगाई हुई है|
आदमी: हैं! वो क्यों जी?
संता: ओए खोते “ब्लूटूथ” का  ज़माना है|

Full Fom of COLLEGE

Come
On
Let's
Love
Each
Girl
Equally

- that's Y boy's go college regularly